Alcohol and Drug Rattled Americans

All,
I am an American living and working long time in China, (over 16 years). I am also a recovered alcoholic, (12 years), and am familiar with the manner and means of an ex-pat's life who imbibes daily in China and seeks the comfort of the working girls. It wears on you. You may not know it, but one of the first signs of spiritual decay is loss of your sense of humor.
The last weekend I was with my family, Chinese wife and 3 year old son. He was riding on top of my shoulders and we were walking a busy little street in Fu Tian when I spotted two laowais standing alone in the throng of Chinese people. One of them must'a been over 6'6. Thinking I would be friendly I walked up to them and with a smile remarked, "Boy you two look kind'a out of place-how's it going?" Nothing. So I shrugged my shoulders and carried on to the nearby DVD store. Ten minutes later, the shorter laowai of the two, appeared and stood three inches from my nose and started calling me names and threatening me, claiming he is NOT out of place as he had been here 8 years. Recognizing a kindred spirit -albeit practicing alkie- I didn't argue or let him know I'd been here twice that long, (not that that has anything to do with anything), and agreed and apologized and told him "thank you". Mind you, I would have said anything to keep my family safe.He was an American.  It is unfortunate but the biggest problem I have ever had with my long stay in China is with other Americans. There is a deep routed attitude of entitlement that gets severly twisted when plied daily with drugs and alcohol. In any event, should this story be about YOU or you don't think life in China is fun anymore or perhaps you might drink too much, let it be known that there IS a solution. Shenzhen has an Alcoholic Anonymous and has been meeting for over 6 years at the same location. aashenzhen.com. Thankyou.
Concerned Human

Thank-you for your very courageous and candid account of that unfortunate meeting. I truly hope that at least SOME of your fellow countrymen will see themselves in your story.

I've seen a number of times here in Brazil where the American "deep rooted sense of entitlement" as you marvelously worded it has caused a lot of problems. While Brazilians just love foreigners, in general they are not at all impressed with Americans because the for the most part come across as extremely arrogant here.

Again, thanks for sharing your story. God Bless!

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog Team

Thankyou Sir,
What do you animate?
I dabble in it myself.
be well.
broc

Hi,

I enjoyed reading your post and appreciate your insights.

I am also American, male, single and I have been living in Asia for about 19 years, mostly in Singapore. I have an opportunity to move to Shenzhen and while I have been there many times on business, I know it must be very different to actually live there.

I don't speak Mandarin although I have taken some beginning classes.

Can you give me some idea what life is like there, what there is to do, how ex-pats spend their time... etc?

Thanks,

David

As an American with a deep rooted sense of entitlement, I can't relate to this rant at all.

I have only been in SZ for a couple of weeks.  in that time, i've been approached once by an aussie, and once from an american with some sort of crazy scheme or scam.  it's entirely possible that they weren't drunk or high, but have been approached about crazy scams and thought you were going to be doing the same.  of course, it could have been an incredible hangover as well.  i don't think you necessarily need to jump to conclusions.  at the same time, i haven't found many expats here to be overly friendly, unless introduced through a third party.

I agree with blurryone and haileyinhongkong. i don't get the idea of a sense of entitlement. What could they possibly be entitled to? Common decency? manners? professionalism? That's about all I would expect when going to other countries. Yet, it seems to be lacking here enmasse. Perhaps they're frustrated by the incompetence and passivity here. It can grind on you after a while. But make no mistake, it's not just foreigners causing problems here. In my observations and experiences the locals are not so friendly to each other. I have witnessed many men beating their wife or gf. many women arguing and confronting other women. Fights and arguments in public seem common here.

Not sure how wjwoodward above can know where every person is from in Brazil. Perhaps they view all white people as American's there also? Sounds a bit closed minded. I suspect the "arrogance" you're referring to is more akin to "freedom of expression" - a concept that cannot be grasped in many other cultures because, perhaps, they're taught to obey and follow, not to lead...or even to strive for a higher level of quality. In China, if you're given poor service, shut up and accept it. Not so in the U.S., U.K. or many other western cultures. <
China, at present, attracts alot of the low social class from abroad. They're coming from everywhere in the world...looking for teaching jobs or whatever they can find. I suspect many are disheartened before they arrive here because they can't find work back home. Coming to China and dealing with the mentality here won't give them a new outlook on life, even if they are able to secure a job here. But, indeed, many turn to alcohol and are simply here to have "fun". But this is how it is in many places when foreigners enter their countries. China is no different in this regard. Don't worry, with the new Visa requirements, I believe there will be alot less low class types coming to China long term. Just conduct yourself properly and represent your nationality well. There are always a few bad apples everywhere that ruin it....and yes, even some Brazilians I've had to work with in Beijing. They weren't model citizens either...