Marrying a Jordanian and Moving to Amman in March!

yes... u can find many many good schools with no high paid..
just u can't find them online, but it's millions on your area..( where u plan to live?)
that what we talk about privet schools...
but there is many Gov-school (public schools) and u paid i think less than 20 JD (30$) per years.. i can't say all of them is good , but u can find some thing is good. depends on ur standers...

for more info and dilates just contact me.. I'll do my best

Thank you shobaki for responding. I'd actually totally forgotten that I'd signed up here until today when I received a private message alert in my email! I've been busy in my head and in physical life of course, trying to prepare the best I can for the move and the change of lifestyle-being away from what is familiar, people that are familiar and going to live in a place where "I" am the stranger/the foreigner

I'm actually excited about it and I just want to be prepared as much as possible so that my new husband is proud of me. He's now informed me that I have two months to learn some Arabic *GULP*!
So now I'm on a crash course in learning as much Arabic as I can over the next two months...think I can do it?? Inshallah!

I'm happy to have my daughter attend a public school, I'm quite sure that even Amman's worst school is not as bad as some of the public schools here in the USA.

My husband say's we'll be living with his family/parents and this is wonderful to me, but is there anything I need to know, like "do's and dont's" when living in the home with his parents?

Thanks Again for replying to me and this time I won't forget

Best wishes,
Selah

Salam Selah73. welcome to Jordan , arabic is not hard as it seems.. and arab can understand even not right ...
where u plan to live (area)...

about do's and dont's.. as i understand u r muslimah , and i think ur Islamic morals will help u live perfectly anywhere not in Jordan only ..

Thank you shobaki for replying!

I'm planning, Inshallah, to live in Amman. Yes I am Muslimah, only recently I converted after Ramadan. But I believe we are all Muslims at heart, just over time, the world comes in and removes little by little the faith Allah placed within our souls from the beginning. Our journey is to rediscover and reapply our faith again...I think so anyway.

So how are the jobs there? For an American woman lol (with not a whole lot of expertise) Mainly I've worked in health care and obtained a few certificates that likely won't be of much help in another country as even moving state to state here in America requires renewal of another states certification.

Salaam
Selah

Mabrouk on your wedding and your move Selah!

Since you ask about the "dos and don'ts", do look on the Lebanese forum where there is also a forum topic on the subject. There are many similarities between Jordan and Lebanon and if you are like me then you are looking for all the information you can get!

You said you were interested in getting a job in Jordan. What about teaching English in a school, language centre, or other organism? Or maybe you have hobby you can offer classes in.

All the best with the language!

Georgia @ gingerbeirut.com

Dear Selah, first of all I would like to say that Jordan is full of so many beauties, but at the same time I don't want to sugar everything up, and give you an unrealistic candied up version of what life is like here. I'm married to the love of my life( HE'S HALF OF MY SOUL!! ), who is from Bani Hassan, the largest and the "Alpha" of all tribes here in Jordan . He's an ex-Jordanian Special Forces Anti Terrorism Unit guy, and I swear he is the best thing that has EVER happened to me. I am also a new Muslim(Apr 2001) and a former Unites States Marine.

My story is bitter sweet, and I am in the process of writing a biography about my survival story here. But the people here, in general never let me down once, and they never let me fall, no matter how desperate my situation became, they all stood by me through  my entire ordeal.

Cost of living here is extremely here because of all the khaliji visitors,(in general) who come and spike up the prices of living costs, rent, ect.

If you have a steady income, life here is wonderful. But if not, I highly reccommend you to be sure you do before you get here because life here is extremely difficult. Over 30% of all jordanians are under the poverty level (family of 8+living under 120 US Dollars a month or (100 JDS)/mo. Unemployment is extremely high here as well. But I have a job, you just have to know which doors to knock on.

The culture has is true beauties. But not all Jordanians are alike. My husband's family are great, but they can be extremely judgemental at times, unfortunately, because they come from a different sphere of society then we do, so this is expected. (My husbands family is from a small village outside of Jerash, and from Mafraq.)

The people of Mafraq, Jerash, and Ma'an, Tafilah, Kerak, Madaba, As Salt, are in general wonderful and they helped me out tremendously, They are heartfelt and honestly are very generous, and you'll find the ordinary people who have lower incomes, who are the MOST generous...and I have a special dua'ah for everyone who helped me.

Since being here in Jordanian, I've pretty much blended in , most people don't believe I'm an American, because of my Arabic.

I've grown a deep admiration and love for the His Majesty King Abdullah II, and the level of safety here is just amazing, I've never walked down the street in Amman at anytime day or night, and felt an ounce of Fear. Here, women are given special consideration, and safety, a women in distress grabs every man's attention, (that is IF there were a women in distress which is extremely rare). The only thing dangerous here is cars, and drivers, and car accidents. Other then that, Jordan is extremely safe, over 600,000 visitors came here in the year 2009, over 280,000 hotel rooms booked (JTB stats).

I think you'll enjoy Jordan, but you just need to plan, and be careful to keep an open mind, and know that life here needs extreme amounts of patience at time, but if you're with someone that you really really really love, and he really really really loves you as well, then you'll do just fine. You have to be sure and not to let the Shaytaan, get in between you too. Arab men are high maintenance, and need alot of attention, and nurturing, they need a lot of affection and they don't want a "manly" like charactered wife, *we american women tend to be very expressive, and direct, independent, unlike what some Jordanian women.* Jordanian women(I'm referring to those whom are from the south of Jordan and from the smaller towns and villages) are taught to be quiet spoken, introverted, and not to talk back to their men and they're very modest. ( Some Amman and Irbid ladies are like that as well, but a somewhat less then the other areas of Jordan- as I have obsereved from experience).

A simple smile is normal in our daily lives, but in Jordan, a woman who smiles at any strange man ( like in a public place) is considered to be promiscuous. Just a look can be easily misconstrued as something else, so women don't look at men in the face unless they need a Taxi, or information, ect. Otherwise it's considered taboo and unmmodest here.

Also, talking on the bus is another big taboo. Especially about food, or money, or anything in general, it's like considered shameful. You'll notice the bus to be completely quiet in usual cases.

There is so much I have to share so that's why I'm starting a new blog....at one time I was just like you, going online to search for answers, and i couldn't for the life of me find much to go off, but I feel it's a personal responsibility to share what I have to others, so that they can benefit, and not fall into the same  mistakes that I did.

If you need any more advice or help in anything, any subject here, let me know. I love Jordan, but it needs a specific type of mindset, in order to understand it's people, and it's culture, to understand it's society.

I like to take the reward(from Allah) for helping others, so that explains my willingness to come on here and tell you what I have, good and bad.

Proud Wife of Fouad Abu Dulbuh Bani Hassan

Hi, are you in Jordan yet?? I'm a Mom with two kids 7 and 4 living here.

hi peacelovelight how are you.May I know your name?.Anyway
Thank you already add me to be your friend.Are you now still in jordan?.Maybe we can communicate via email.My email address is : [email protected] .I wait for news and more next news from you.you takecare.and have a good one...

thank you

YUNIE

Selah,
You have a lot to learn but you'll get there day by day.  I did what you've done 27 years ago.  It wasn't easy but its do-able.  It takes $$$ to live in Jordan comfortably and especially socially, the more $$ you have the more fun, convenience and comfort you'll live with. You need to go back to where you came from and visit family, don't forsake who you are and where you came from, be yourself.  My advice is don't try and be an arab, you'll never be one.  Just be yourself and you'll do well and not lose who you are. The language is hard, you can learn it as we all have but it won't come over night unless you're a genius. Everything you can think of will be different, remember that word..... different.... its just different... not wrong. Settle in, the honeymoon will wear off and real life will creep in, hang in there we all have and we've all been in your shoes. Enjoy the bliss while you have it.  I'm not negative, I'm real.
VWbug

I agree with VWbug.  Don't try to be a local, just be yourself.  At first I tried to be like the locals and it was eating me up inside to the point it made me ill.  I couldn't live with myself and even though my husband tried to change me I realized that even he didn't like who I was trying to be.  Jordan is nice but you need money, everything is available here but it costs a pretty penny.

hi
I have a car I need to ship back to california USA
any one can tel me what would be the cheapist way to do that
thanks

Hi davidoluv! You are off topic! Please start a new discussion on the Jordan forum.

Thank you!

Hi!! I agree with vwbug and wintersolctice!! I wished I would've seen that post a couple of months ago. I am a very independent woman and an original thinker. I have tried to blend my personality and calm it down to mesh with the arabs...as a result i really lost who i was, questioning everything. I tried to be myself and it backfired, so I changed and then I felt absolutely terrible. I am back to being myself and I am happier. Of course, I must tone certain things down, but trying to care about what others think about me really had me lost.
For example: I brought over about six full wardrope boxes filled with fine women's garments I acquired in the US. Many are Arabic style, and I have really been excited to share them with all the women in my family.
I finally had gone through them all and set aside outfits I thought certain women/girls would like. One of my nieces had just graduated from high school...A VERY big deal here. So, I decided, this would be the perfect chance to give her something. I picked out a pair of leather high heels from Spain, a matching belt and a pair of earrings my artist friend made in CA. I brought them to her, by myself (w/o husband). I was so excited that she graduated, this was kinda like a cheering on for her and to tell her how proud I was. She is much shorter than I am by at least a foot.
I brought her the things, I had wanted to give them in private, but the whole family greeted me (as usual, very welcoming). So I gave her the things, she looked shocked. It turns out the shoes were too small. The belt was too small, and the earrings were based in silver, I had forgotten they only wear gold.
I really felt disappointed and actually their vibe made me feel "stupid", not normal for me. Basically, everything was wrong and they told me this right there. I just didn't know what to do. So, I told her I'd try to find something else, and left.
A few days passed, and I had found something else. I stopped by my husbands parents house before going over. I was worried and asked if I should try again. Luckily, my nephew spoke up and told me, don't do it. They've been making fun of you. Everyone is talking about it, because the items weren't brand new and were the wrong size. Ok, they didn't have price tags, but there was no wear on the shoes or belt.
It turns out that tradition says you should give money for graduation of which I had no idea. So, they were also talking that I was cheap. It turns out the normal amount to give is 20JD. Well, the shoes were $125, like I said, leather, from Spain...the belt and earrings brought the total to a little over $175.
I must say, I was no only heartbroken, but confused, and again, felt really stupid. I honestly can say I have NEVER experienced this kind of shame, in giving. I pondered on what I should do for weeks! I never returned to give her anything else, instead my husband went and gave her the 20JD.
My dreams of sharing all these beautiful and expensive clothing items was crushed.
I later found out that this particle niece was "snobby". So, even though she speaks English, which is very rare only 4 girls out of 50 in my family, I finally decided that there are just certain people I should be friends with, just like in the real world. We all choose are friends right? So, I have now distanced myself, have never spoken about my disappointment to her (although I am just dying to do so, it's my nature to resolve conflict.) However, I was told that she would only make fun of me. This is all so silly, but unfortunately it is my reality.
In the meantime, I invited 4 other nieces of whom I adore over to my house and let them "go shopping". They were delighted and had a great time. They each left with 4 bags of clothes, and were very happy.
So, I hope you can see my point here. I was miserable by being myself and being made fun of, and then miserable for not being myself and not being able to give like I had dreamed. I guess I should be a bit more cautious in the future. I know have "my favorites" in the family, and will continue to share and be myself around them. As for the other, I will keep the realtionship to a friendly, hello, how are you, etc.
So my question to all of you is...
should I ever explain to my ungrateful niece my intention and the difference between their traditional "give money only" as a gift and the American way, give unconditionally? Or should I just let it go? She probably doesn't even understand how much she hurt my feelings, but I would like to tell her that talking badly about somoeone when they were giving is just RUDE!
Thanks! And, not sure if I start a new topic here, but it is related...I am a very adventurous, active woman. I brought over my bike and was told women don't ride bikes. I am really getting out of shape. I now dream of riding my bike through the village...in a way to prove that women can do anything!! And that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this...however, I was told everyone would talk. So what am I supposed to do? Be locked up in the house like the other women, or be myself and show them that women are strong and riding a bike is completely normal?
Again, thanks for any input anyone has on this...

peacelovelight wrote:

So my question to all of you is...
should I ever explain to my ungrateful niece my intention and the difference between their traditional "give money only" as a gift and the American way, give unconditionally? Or should I just let it go? She probably doesn't even understand how much she hurt my feelings, but I would like to tell her that talking badly about somoeone when they were giving is just RUDE!
Thanks! And, not sure if I start a new topic here, but it is related...I am a very adventurous, active woman. I brought over my bike and was told women don't ride bikes. I am really getting out of shape. I now dream of riding my bike through the village...in a way to prove that women can do anything!! And that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this...however, I was told everyone would talk. So what am I supposed to do? Be locked up in the house like the other women, or be myself and show them that women are strong and riding a bike is completely normal?
Again, thanks for any input anyone has on this...

Allow me to answer With regard to your niece... It seems that you already know what will happen beforehand. So why to bring up and worsen the case (as this will probably happen)? Why don't you try to think of her as an acquaintance instead of (close) family, just to distantiate from her as you said, just like in the real world. Some people are worth your attention, others not. We all gossip to some degree, but making fun of someone is something totally different. I think that she must have understood quite well how you felt by the time your husband brought her the money. I think that they even might have talked about you for not daring to bring the money yourself. You've learned from this and now you have to act in the future. Maybe your husband will listen to you when it frustrates you again?

With regard to your other question... To us it is normal that women can do anything, but to them it's a totally different story. I probably would do the same as you lol. Isn't there a gym in the neighbourhood, or isn't there a nice mountain you can hike on? Jordan has a beautiful nature, it's a shame if you cant enjoy that. Or, is it possible to buy a treadmill for inside?

Thank you Sammi for your advice. Today I went to Amman. It was like going to a different country...very similar in many ways to places in the US. It is really crazy how there is a 100 year difference in mentality only 45 minutes away...there are gyms, i saw people riding bikes (men), men in tank tops and shorts and women without head scarves wearing tee-shirts and jeans. I saw fashion in the store windows like I wear....in the village it's always totally covered with the long black dresses. Amazing!!
Unfortunately there are no gyms in my village, not even a coffee shop, there are no parks, no place to hang out except in the litered streets. My dream is to find a way to bring this village into present time with a park or rec center.
I guess my trip today really showed me what I am dealing with, and that I will be judged harshly for riding a bike. It's so wierd because I thought I might open their eyes to see a new light, a freer way of being, but I realize this is impossible. I also think,that there is nothing wrong with the way they are...I must do like you said and just find people like me, and really, try to let it go...all the meanwhile, try to get some fun things to do here in the village. Anyone agree and want to see these kinds of things in their villages?

Georgia Paterson Dargham wrote:

Mabrouk on your wedding and your move Selah!

Since you ask about the "dos and don'ts", do look on the Lebanese forum where there is also a forum topic on the subject. There are many similarities between Jordan and Lebanon and if you are like me then you are looking for all the information you can get!

You said you were interested in getting a job in Jordan. What about teaching English in a school, language centre, or other organism? Or maybe you have hobby you can offer classes in.

All the best with the language!

Georgia @ gingerbeirut.com

Hi georgia, i read your email and sounds very interesting to me? Do you have any recommendation for me, any school that you know for Grade 1 or 2? I am currently in Jordan and eager to get a job too. I am not a teacher but I had 10 years experience in administration.

I am married to jordanian with 2 children. We are here for nearly one year. Thanks for support.