I have known an Egyptian widow woman living in the Nile delta region of Tanta for the past 4 years.
Earlier this year I asked her to marry me and she agreed but with the condition that her daughter gets married first.
The woman has 4 children in total,one daughter 28 years old is married, a son 21 years old who is single another son who is 14 and finally a daughter who is 25 years old and unmarried.
I have repeatedly asked where and why this ruling comes from but the only explanation I have been given is that Egyptian tradition says it is bad luck for an Egyptian widow to marry before her daughter.
In the 4 years I have known this woman her two eldest unmarried children have always watched and cencored everything I say and do when I am with my lady friend. I am not allowed to touch her other than to shake hands, I can't sit next to her in the car.
I can't visit her house though I was once invited for a meal at Easter last year.I have never been allowed to go out with her socially...though I have been on holiday with the whole family once.
We are not even allowed to get engaged until after the daughter has married.
The daughter has shown no interest in boys for the 4 years I have known her and for all I know could never marry.
I have tried getting this 'daughter marries first' ruling changed many times but without success. I once did get the daughter to agree to allow her mother and I to get married first but her brother over ruled her and said they had to stick with tradition.
I can't find any reference to this tradition anywhere and none of my Egyptian friends have come across this before.
Quite a few of my Egyptian friends have told me I will have to pay the family to be allowed to marry..though no body from the family have ever mentioned this
Can anyone enlighten me on this matter.
Thanks
Jan
Egyptian courtship rules
Can I ask you if you give them money?
Is she a muslim, are you?
Nothing with luck, but...
as you saw and felt that marriage is something holy in Muslim countries as we don't have any connection with the opposite sex before marriage...
and because it's the Half of the religion (as we call it) so we expect everyone to get married and have a family...
for girls, they always dream of the perfect guy and they are always proud of how handsome, religious and rich he is.
and they do talk about their husbands with others like (oh, did you see my husband bought me a kilo of gold, lol) anyway
so shortly it's the only dream of any girl...
and because the average marrying age is between 19-25 to girls so when a girl reaches this age she feels like she won't never marry...
so...
the situation is not concerning with mother and daughter, but you gonna find it widely between sisters as ppl see that older sister has to marry 1st, then the younger one...
so what do you think about the mother!!
of course i'm not talking about ppl from cairo, and high class rank, but that's how ppl from country side think 
Geely wrote:Can I ask you if you give them money?
Is she a muslim, are you?
he shouldn't be like he is buying something!
that's very offensive for the family, and later if he tempted them by money, he will face many problems, and he won't live in peace, specially that we hallow family connection not like the western country where each one like to separate from the family.
that's what i believe, wish you luck janjakes
Translate this and read it http://www.alukah.net/Social/0/979/
Geely wrote:Can I ask you if you give them money?
Is she a muslim, are you?
I don't give them money but I do occasionally bring them small gifts from England when I visit...usually shoes or clothes.
The family are Orthodox Christian...I am also Christian but not Orthodox.
Cenlin wrote:Geely wrote:Can I ask you if you give them money?
Is she a muslim, are you?
he shouldn't be like he is buying something!
that's very offensive for the family, and later if he tempted them by money, he will face many problems, and he won't live in peace, specially that we hallow family connection not like the western country where each one like to separate from the family.
that's what i believe, wish you luck janjakes
Personally I feel it would be wrong to offer money, either as a payment or as a gift in order to be allowed to marry my lady friend...I am prepared to accept traditions that may include the exchange of money if that is the only way to make some progress.
Cenlin wrote:Translate this and read it
Thanks for the link...
I have used Google Translate t try and read what it says but Google is not very good at translating Arabic into English.
I think there are parts of the item that refer to something very similar to what I am experiencing. I will take a copy to an Egyptian friend of mine tommorrow and ask him to give me a true translation.
@Cenlin
Interesting site
@janjakes
There is an English Language button on the top left corner of the site ..
http://en.alukah.net
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