Dating?

Hi JBJ,

Dating is a "big" no no here in saudi, you can get into serious trouble if your cought with a girl who is not related to you (especially if she's arab)and it can go as far as getting you jailed and deported.

on the other hand while your living inside a western compound, its like living in a western country therefore you can take things easy there.

Salman

So it's generally ok within the compound?

What about if you travel outside the compound to go shopping or socialise or travel to say Bahrain or the UAE?

Can the police stop you to find out if you are married or not?

like I said, you can get into serious trouble outside the compound, and crossing borders means going through security check points, hence traveling to bahrain or UAE by car will be a high risk.

by the way, the penalties I mentioned earlier as in being jailed or deported are for being with the opposite gender without having a legal relationship, but adultery can have you face extreme charges and thats not a joke, so be warned.

I'm posting this so anyone else with the same querry can be informed as well.


Salman

The rule in relation to thge mxng of men and women here is based on the concept that a man may only be seen in public with his legal wife, mother, daughters, sisters and a woman with her legal husband, father, sons and brothers. In all the cass mentioned the individual must possess proof of relationship by way of his Residence Permit (Iqama) indicating that he or she is the sponsor of the concerned legal/bio relative.

Hence any form of swinging with the opposite sex who is not a legal entity, in KSA, may be put to rest. Like Salman mentioned the penalty can be extremely humiliating and heavy.

JBJ, listen to these guys. the Saudis here do not play around. You've probably got to be here to really get it that you do not want to go playing footsies with anyone here. You're doing the right thing by doing your research before you get here. Now, if you do get to live in the compound you're likely to be able to have some sort of dating life. I see from the look and attitude of the people inside that they don't have much of a clue how it is in the real Saudi Arabia. But even if you do get to live at the compound, sooner or later you may venture out. So foretold is indeed forwarned.-a

hello,

I guess meeting girls is not only difficult but can be punishable by law.
It is much easier to be gay in KSA. Meeting cute guys for friendship and fun was never as easy for me.
if you want any more info dont hesitate to add me:
[email protected]

good luck!
omar

?!?

I thought homosexuality was punishable by death?

I saw a show yesterday where one of the princes had a plethora of good looking females wearing western clothes and no abhya (sp?) is sight working for him.

I take it that's one of the perks of being one of the big dogs in KSA?

What about in shops etc...? Say I go for a burger somewhere, do I need to be served by a male? Are there seperate malls for males and females?

I'm quite intrigued as to how it all works.

it looks like u r very much into girls

if thats the case, forget it.

if u r willing for alternative dating then u can go for it

Malls are all served by men. There are some malls exclusively for females where the sales and other staff are women but they are few and far between. Food courts are also served by men but they have a partitioned counter for serving females separately, but adjacent to the men only counter. Most food courts have separate sections for families and single males.

Well, the weather at tghe top is differenbt from that on the ground so those people in high places can get away with anything and everything as is across the globe. Remember Bill & Monika? Sarkozy and his model?

Yeah I had an idea that was how it was with the "haves and have nots" but just thought I'd ask.

Quick question musicman:

I assume your name isn't a coincidence... what's the music like in KSA?

I'm planning on bringing a guitar for in my flat. Is getting new cd's in the malls easy?

What about meeting other musicians in general?

I have toyed with the idea of buying myself an oud :-D

are you gonna be in eastern province?

we will gather some  friends and enjoy music with ur guitar!!

great!!

Reh Mania mall in Al Khobar is probably music friendly, if I can use that word. I've been here a month and haven't seen one live musician. On the several cab rides, I've mostly heard prayers. Now and then a Pak cabbie will play Urdustan's latest hits (not older than 400BC).
Reh Mania is a bit more jovial, owing to the hundreds of Phillipinos that frequent the mall. They tend to laugh, smile and let their women show their faces a LOT more than the typical Saudi. In addition to this, they actually have a store that sells musical instruments including DJ kit and electric guitars. This has been a real rarity to see here on the east coast. Remember, I'm living outside the ARAMCO compound so I don't want Aramcons to be writing in saying, "Where you been, under a rock?" Out here on the real Saudi streets you get to appreciate a fella paying several months worth of payola to get his melody mojo on.

BTW, JBJ, do you know yet what city you're going to be in? Khobar's pretty modern, insofar as far as urban sprawl being the barometer of modernity. But it's pretty lively at night. Of course, it's Ramadan these days so shops have later hours than usual these days. Again, the liveliness is in large part likely owed to the relatively more amiable disposition of the Philipinos (a large demo in the Khobar/Damman region). You actually get to appreciate the boisterous mirth of the Philipine workers, despite the adversities they face daily (don't want to get into it - they have their own blogs for that). It's in stark contrast to the seriousness of the thobe clad Saudis (thobes are Arabic dress for a Saudi Arab male, a long white, robe -like garment); this despite the general opinion that Saudis don't work as hard as expats. It's not a criticism, it's just like saying that Mexicans in the US will work 1.5 hours for every hour an American will work and for much less per hour. It's not the Americans are lazy (not most), but circumstances are such that the expat comes with a Mexican work ethic and with too much to lose if he complains about the occasional episode or worker exploitation. So, if you guys ever wanna jam, put up a posting and lemme know where the party at.

guys!

you seem very knowledgable... how about gay life? gay meetings?
where to go ? is it safe? whats the idea of saudis about gays ?

hey... i was gonna add to the above about that... just that the post got too long... Talking about reh mania mall.... hey, just take your pick... plenty of filipino cakeboys... haha ... no offense to the gay community. it's actually pretty cool to see fellas not being so repressed....

JBJ, you can bring your guitar and maybe even meet other musicians in Khobar and play and enjoy your music. Its possible. I played with a band, comprising a multicultural gang, from 1988-90 in Riyadh. We had to disband cos we moved. There arfe many musicians everywhere. Its finding them thats not so easy.

A store called AL DAWLIAH sells all types of musical instruments in all major cities of the Kingdom. They are agents for Yamaha.

JBJ
(What about if you travel outside the compound to go shopping or socialise or travel to say Bahrain or the UAE?
Can the police stop you to find out if you are married or not?)
lol   lol
you are so scared JBJ , just relax the life here is great you can go anywhere but as a polit man you will show respect to the law here,saudi arabia  as anyother country has its own rules and every one have to accept these rules.
you can do shopping, go to resturance, jion to clubs, introduc the culture here which is the most intersting thing,.......
dating and non apropriate clothes are prohibted.

thanks for
Salman Omrani and musicman

[moderated: please be polite]

Dear r m,

First of all, you are Saudi, you are not supposed to be here. This is a place for expatriates.
[Moderated: please be polite]

Wow!

i'm coming back to comment on this fer sure XD

(finnishing a project at office)

khobar28 and r_m,

please understand that,

1. this forum is open to all even though its titke states expat-blog

2. we need to refrain from personal insults and attacks to each other

3. whatever topic, idea, thought or issue we may have we can discuss same in a decent, kind, and objective manner with each one entitled to his view and opinion

4. let us not be the ones to judge others. thats the job of God or whoever else one believes in

thanks

dear musicman,

I dont understand why you are addressing your comments to me!!
I think it is clear who started the insults. Please check the history of the blog entries and you will see.

I beleive i am entitled to self-defense, at the same language level of the attacker.

thanks and regards!

khobar,
take it easy
two wrongs dont make a right
i only addressed the comments to both of you since you are the ones involved in the discussion, not as a means of any accusations to either of the two. people do get emotional and temperamental in discussions and thats human. we just need to move on with dignity, respect and kindness.
cheer up!
we are all friends here.

Hi again every one!

let's see here, I guess some of you might think gay relationships are normal and accepted in the saudi community, boy are you gonna freak out or what when you hear this; it's "not".

( I just had a few words with our legal affairs dept.)

uptill ten years ago, being cought having a gay relationship would be punnished by Death. today however, it can be reduced to a four to ten years of imprisonment with a few hundred lashes. thats about it.

so basically it's illegal, and far worse than being caught with a girl.

as for the disscussion above;

R-m,

your presence here in Expat.com is really apreciated and much required, I personally want to thank you for many of your replies. but attacking a member on a personnel bases is not acceptable no matter how bizzare or wierd you might feel towards it. I hope you refrain from using such language in the future.

K28,

I would like to inform you that Expat.com didn't inform anyone that patriots cannot join, where on earth are we to get genuine info if the locals arn't around? for example; Mr. X is from Italy and he is an expatriot in India, he will be asking questions in inida's blog while he also might be answering in the Italy blog. r-m could end up in UK for all we know

I'll give in that rm took a wrong step by speaking her mind, but don't you think you over-reacted? ;

Moderated. please be polite

I would highly advise you to respect the people and law of the country your in, even if they don't agree to your believes. and accept the fact that not many of them are tolerant of your ideals or beliefs.

well, I hope both of you stop the personal arguments and keep your differences to your self's and kindly stick to the topic.

any further non-constructive posts will be asked to be removed by Blog moderators.

r-m wrote:

JBJ
(What about if you travel outside the compound to go shopping or socialise or travel to say Bahrain or the UAE?
Can the police stop you to find out if you are married or not?)
lol   lol
you are so scared JBJ , just relax the life here is great you can go anywhere but as a polit man you will show respect to the law here,saudi arabia  as anyother country has its own rules and every one have to accept these rules.
you can do shopping, go to resturance, jion to clubs, introduc the culture here which is the most intersting thing,.......
dating and non apropriate clothes are prohibted.

thanks for
Salman Omrani and musicman

khobar28 am sorry but you are discusting

I meant is it ok to go shopping etc... with a woman.

That's good about music.

I'm going to be in Al-Ahsa or close by. How far is that from Khobar? I like the sound of music shops in the close vicinity :-)

Dear Salman,

1. gay relationships are illegal, but are widely seen by the youth as an alternative to forbidden and dificult straight dating

2. I agree that everyone is accepted in the blog, as long as he/she respects other members

3. I do accept the people and the law in my host country and I do not expect them to agree with all my beliefs, i do expect people however to respect me as i respect them

4. I am sorry if i have over-reacted but the term "disgusting" that was used pissed me off a lot

enjoy your time!

Thanks khobar28 for your understanding..

JBJ,

al-hasa is not really that far from khobar, maybe a couple of hours at max if your driver moves slower than continents

khobar28 wrote:

Dear r m,

First of all, you are Saudi, you are not supposed to be here. This is a place for expatriates.

Khobar28, this is Jo Ann from the Expat-Blog team.
This place is open and welcomes everybody, not only expatriates. Sometimes, locals know *much better* than expatriates. We need locals as much as expats. Who better than a Saudi or someone who has lived all his life in KSA like Salman to teach you what you need to know about a country with different customs ?
You and R-M are BOTH expected to be polite and courteous to each other. Period.

musicman wrote:

khobar28 and r_m,

please understand that,

1. this forum is open to all even though its titke states expat-blog

2. we need to refrain from personal insults and attacks to each other

3. whatever topic, idea, thought or issue we may have we can discuss same in a decent, kind, and objective manner with each one entitled to his view and opinion

4. let us not be the ones to judge others. thats the job of God or whoever else one believes in

thanks

Thank you Musicman.

Salman Omrani wrote:

R-m,

your presence here in Expat.com is really apreciated and much required, I personally want to thank you for many of your replies. but attacking a member on a personnel bases is not acceptable no matter how bizzare or wierd you might feel towards it. I hope you refrain from using such language in the future.

K28,

I would like to inform you that Expat.com didn't inform anyone that patriots cannot join, where on earth are we to get genuine info if the locals arn't around? for example; Mr. X is from Italy and he is an expatriot in India, he will be asking questions in inida's blog while he also might be answering in the Italy blog. r-m could end up in UK for all we know

I would highly advise you to respect the people and law of the country your in, even if they don't agree to your believes. and accept the fact that not many of them are tolerant of your ideals or beliefs.

well, I hope both of you stop the personal arguments and keep your differences to your self's and kindly stick to the topic.

any further non-constructive posts will be asked to be removed by Blog moderators.

Thank you for being such a great animator, Salman !

khobar28
i used to write the truth in all my reviews and articles, i learn this while i was studying the master degree in medical college (from the stone age!), any sentence without strong reference is rejected.
yes i insulted you and you over reacted.
infact i read your profile before i wrote that word to you and i read that your name is omar and you are saudi, i was shocked about the information in your file ,today i saw your profile again and i found that i was wrong, i just read the wrong file.am sorry!
anyway, whoever you are you have your own space and your own thoughts.
Jo Ann, Salman Omrani,and musicman : you are right and thank you

thank you everyone for your understanding of the situation and acceptance of all the positive sentiments and advice extended. this is waht we really need amongst good human beings. thanks again. i am very proud of us all.

thanks music man

hence we conclude that dating in Saudi Arabia can be .. well lets say, unapropriate.

r-m

apology accepted, i also apologize for the insults!

Ok. Back to blogging about Saudi. Dating was the topic right? Well. I was wondering what would be the protocol for visiting a lady at her place of employment in Saudi, specifically Damman region. The lady in question invited me and said it was okay to visit. Obviously anything regarding touching is out of the question. What about polite conversation. I've seen a few merchants engaged in conversation with female patrons. Are there particular limits I need to focus on? -A