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Is having an affair as an expat always inevitable?

Yes its inevitable
I lived there seen it for my self , You love your husband and you see the changes in them some woman may turn blind eye, as they don't want there life style to change, I could not turn blind eye and my life style changed dramatic , but it cost him a lot of money I did not go away easy.  Thoughts of them guys sleeping with those girls and coming back to wives god know what disease they could transfer .  They get there claws into these guys and that's it, and then they find out things about the wife, and if they feel threatened there loosing there man they start sending explicit pictures to the wife to destroy the marriage.  Trust me I experienced it .  So you been there ??  Any help advice want to chat am here I know the hell and collateral damage it causes.

Cheating is a choice not a special calling.

Hi Pat1

Hopefully you're still on here as it's been a while since your post, I am going through the same thing and would really appreciate a chat.

@pat1

You are getting off topic so please use the PM system to exchange personal chats with members.

Cambridge77 do you mind telling where in Kazakhstan were you living? Thanks

Then we look at the other side ..

The wife is grumpy, nagging and has gone off sex, so the husband turns to someone who shows interest in him.

Not that I'm claiming that's always the case, but there are so many generalizations about bad husbands, lousy wives seemed worth a mention.

It would be interesting to get an update from the OP (Queen of the Suburbs). Did she get lucky, at all?

I don't think you'll get any updates Gordon as she opened the thread way back in 2011...

Primadonna :

I don't think you'll get any updates Gordon as she opened the thread way back in 2011...

Well, she did say she was new to all this. She's had plenty of time to find the answer to her question one way or another! I wonder if she's trying to hide an embarrassing finding...

Nothing embarrassing about it when find out just heartache and pain

There is nothing inevitable about an affair when working overseas. The topic makes it sound as if it happens to everyone because of the inevitability  of working overseas.

This is far from the truth. It takes two to tango and there would likely to be underlying problems that could cause someone to go off the rails as Fred alludes to.

In my 45 odd years of working around the world I have seen it all. Away from loved ones, access to alcohol, mixing with other expats who are indulging in an extra marital affair, frequenting bars where attentive females abound, limited contact with family due to location lack of phones,internet etc, being unsure of the strength of your relationship, unable to understand the problems at home because you are not there, not being a good listener etc etc etc.

This being said, there are some definite trends to be found in the world of expat dating.

U HV nothing to be afraid of if u really talk daily with ur partner n trust is cogent. U b fyn

Talking daily on the phone is no solution, my advice to anyone whose husband is going to work abroad is avoid the situation if at all possible.  Unfortunately, they generally are working in countries whose locals are in mostpart low paid and have lower standards of living.  These places are full of females who are quite happy to pimp themselves out to a man of any age or condition to bag themselves what they perceive to be a rich husband and a european passport, and unfortunately for the wives left at home, these sad guys delude themselves that this pretty young woman is actually in love with them and will stay with them after they have bled them dry and got their passport.  I am sickened by both my own experience, and the numerous stories I have heard.

ibilola :

U HV nothing to be afraid of if u really talk daily with ur partner n trust is cogent. U b fyn

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Many of us are old and uncool, meaning we have absolutely no clue what the hell you said in that post.

sunflower1509 :

these sad guys delude themselves that this pretty young woman is actually in love with them.

I'm sure the majority of these men just want sex. Men do that, especially if their wife has refused to join him when he moved.

Wait a sec. Am I to understand that some expats leave without their spouse or significant other & still stay together? That seems absurd out of the gate.

Don't know what you mean

I was confused over whether expats leave to start a new life and leave their spouse or significant other behind. That seems like it would inevitably lead to an affair. If we're talking about both parts of the relationship moving together and then there's an affair, that's a different story (though neither is great obviously).

Fred :
ibilola :

U HV nothing to be afraid of if u really talk daily with ur partner n trust is cogent. U b fyn

This section of the forum only allows posts in the English language.
Other languages are available by clicking the flag at the top right of this page.

Many of us are old and uncool, meaning we have absolutely no clue what the hell you said in that post.

hahaha

Well said

Not sure what your reply means

Sunflower totally  we know we are not blinkered sad men that will get what they deserve one day

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